"Deep in the Heart of Texas....."

So I guess we’ve known each other long enough now. I think it’s time for a little political commentary and I can’t think of a better night to bring it up.

I started driving in Benson, AZ. Benson is a little less than half way between Tucson and the New Mexico state line. It was a nice ride and the only traffic I encountered was in El Paso, TX. After that, it was like being in cruise mode. Thinking about that Mega Millions Jackpot and like that there. Until I started getting queasy. I looked up and realized I was in Odessa, TX. Home to Halliburton. You couldn’t turn your head one-way or the other without getting an eyeful of ‘Big Red’. Trucks, buildings, pipes, EVERYTHING painted Halliburton red. I was expecting at any moment to be shot in the face. Then I remembered the veep shot his FRIEND in the face and it would be a snowy day in Panama before I got snuggly with that kind of evil. I was soon out of Odessa and the nausea subsided.

It returned with a vengeance just a few miles down the road as I saw the Midland, TX welcome sign slowly creep into view. I was almost heaving at this point. Midland, TX, home of the Puff-Breasted Texas Cuckoo (a.k.a. Birdbrainius Ignoramus Maximus). Easily recognized by his puffed chest and arrogant gait. This species is very territorial and aggressive and will attack even if unprovoked. Be warned, even if someone or something else attacks the Puff-Breasted Cuckoo, you may still be in danger. This Cuckoo is evidently very nearsighted and narrow-minded. If at all possible, just ignore this species; it is very short-lived and we should be safe in as little as 2 years.

Driving through Midland, it’s easy to see how dementia can set in. Everywhere you look there are stacks spewing noxious fumes and flames like some post-apocalyptic horror film. There are also huge holding tanks plopped down any and everywhere like huge cow flops. I assume these tanks are filled with chemicals and/or lots and lots of oil. You can almost hear the “Cha-Ching, Cha-Ching, Cha-Ching”; which, by the way, is also the mating call of the Puff-Breasted Cuckoo.

Well, I’m going to leave you with that to chew on and I hope there is no mistaking where I stand on current events. If there is, you shouldn’t breathe so deep next time you pass through Texas.